Thursday, November 25, 2010

A catalytic mail

My mail box has no rest. Groups (terribly I hate them) always disturb me a lot. I used to get minimum 50 group mails. Oh! You may think I am one of the luckiest men in post modern synthetic world receiving least mails from Groups. It is my another title I don’t use my time to narrate on Group mail, I do surely, disturb you, when time comes.

Here the villain or hero is a mail dated 20th November 2010 from Mr. Bar Abdul Mukhtar, introducing himself as no designation of ROC OIL COMPANY LTD, Malaysia. If there is no designation, it means he is BOSS, simple logic). He sent a mail from his MSN id that I am the one of rare candidates from overseas, short listed for Oil Company. Mail itself gave me more details – he got my CV from on line. He liked it; required my honorable services to Malaysia also. I showed to my colleague hiding Company title (he is Keralite, might chances to search Company in Google and reach his PP copy to them). He innocently told me to show the ID. My underestimated mind wont allow me to pass it. He said – if it is from Company ID, there is a chance, other wise, your dreams may fall in smokes. Don’t curse me please, I begged him.

As per Mr. Bar's requirements, I sent details to his MSN and GMAIL id both from my workplace; I resent it again from my Note Book also while i reached at my home. I sent an SMS message to Mrs Aslam, inshallah you may get a call from me soon with a different international CODE. Poor, Mrs Aslam, she didn’t digest what I meant.

I couldn’t know how my next long 24 hours passed out from the whole dragging day. Every five minutes, I pressed my INBOX to refresh. I Started to learn the Geography of Malaysia and currency rate. One of my friends told me – Aslam, living cost is more than UAE. I warned him - dont teach me

My second-hand Coats and ties were sent to Dhobi same day, if I may not get time to dry wash.

Thursday’s sun arose as usual, but with a mail from Malaysian Oil Company Boss, Mr. Bar. There was a lenghty letter with enough information along with 5 page PDF file – we can call it as OFFER LETTER. Really it is made by a professional. Better to say what is not included in it to save my time. But some are - designation: Senior Field Supervisor. Salary: $ 29,000 monthly. 3 bed room villa. Air ticket – a bunch. Every 3 months pass with 30 days holidays. Eat, drink, and dance on holidays. But Mr. Bar, made a big mistake in offer letter quoting a phrase – TOYOTA Camry -2008 2.4G mode in on standby upon Employee’s arrival. Professionalism, we can agree; but over professionalism, we cant.

$29,000 ! Tazaahif 1175- our Iraqi PRO, Junaid uttered and took old calculator from me.

29,000 x 1175 = .........................................

I told him – Your calculator doesnt have that much capacity to multiply; use MS XL sheet please. He understood its meaning – showing his yellow colored teethes. A 20 ft container required to unload it in our Country – funny Junaid commented.

Quckkly my croaky mind worked; took me to Google search engine – our Mr. Bar Abdul Mukthar quoted badly in more than 100 links. Poor guy! I dont blame him; instead apprecite him. Cause, he didnt discourage any job seekers. Instead he offered all the eye catching job of SR. FIELD SUPERVISOR with & 29,000 monthly salary. Other packagings are all reamins same. (He might think - no candidates are qualfied for be supervised; let them superwise others) LInks are long and most them covered with cursed words of unemployed candidates.Why I dont know. Cheated (they highlight themselves) candidates wrote an 2/3 page essays; some scraped and copied as it is what Mr. Bar sent them. I went through most comments at a glimpse.

One scrap stroke me which is really funny – he is pure PACHA, from Lahore I Let me paste as it is not to loose its beauty –

Dear sir,
i m Ali Abbas from Pakistan. I got email from your company. there was written i got a job in it as supervisor and i have to present there till 5 November and salary was 29000 us dollars have complaint that y did u send me this job offer and if it is fraud then please arrest that man who is using your company name. And i have spent my precious time to read frauds mails and my hopes ended in smoke, so i request you please accommodate me in your company in real.

No comments – Pakistani made me laugh a lot.

Sorry to say Mr. Bar is only eligible for SILVER medal; let me grand a GOLD medal to unknown Bhai Saab, Ali Abbas.

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Coma makes Comma

Little Sameeh, 3rd out of 4, is a practical nuisance. It happened in my last vacation. He was always chasing me with question tags. Is it included in punctuation? I am not sure; but punctuation makes some result that made me baby in place of guardian which punched my head right and left!
It was a fine morning – he, THE BOSS, I do address him bold often, sat by my side with a folded note book. My eye balls rolled over his note book which was alreadymade in shape of ‘Porota’ sandwich, I couldn’t find letter P from a word he used to forget. Hereditary factor made me angry – that was always following me in day and dim light.

I strongly asked him to write an imposition 100 times for the word of Psychology, my friendly word and the title of my favorite subject missed to learn in life.
He looked at me with anguish green eyes balls.
Eyebrows raised up made a cloudy atmosphere.
My cold blooded better-half left her seat giving a chance to fight with both son and dad. Before to order her to sit down back, she disappeared from the scenario.
Me also in soul murmured me ...something might happen. Chance is very far away for ceasefire.

المكتوب على الجبين لازم تشوفه العين
Whatever is written on your forehead, you will necessarily see one day – (sorry to say, I am not a good translator– I know - it is a colloquial Arabic proverb, that’s all, which is being used by our PRO)
Anyhow , BOSS took his 2HB Nataraja branded bold pencil and started writing (drawing0 like ploughing paddy field in peak summer -
P S Y C H O L O G Y.

He wrote down the first 10 words as it is in the first page of his dirty note book.

Then laziness + naughtiness and kasargodan brilliancy worked all together proportionately in his good chemistry – his brain worked out as below.

(Because of his hurry, FULL STOPS sat in Coma's sofa set)
100th word was S Y C H O L O G Y (there was no ‘P’ again) – oooooooh!
Tortoise Tail: Hat off to punctuations given an idea to my naughty son to use COMA poetically – even in front of me.
Punct-Grandpaaaaa ……we have already reached beyond your imagination. He might say in his lazy hours!

Sacred Cows are engaged with looting

“Cat is finally out of bag”, Headline of a Newspaper goes. Remarkable with the usage of Cat than its plural form (They can claim on the preference of originality of the proverb). But one can wonder on the number of cats in the same bag (or on the other from stock)

A warm solute to the whole Indian Ladies Cult – as my token of appreciation to their strength and, though bit late, for realizing the capability to withstand and to show the power of resilience. Maybe a beginning; but whole an ocean to be cruised further!

To dig out some outstanding persona, Nira Radia comes first; With her widespread, deep-routed network from the blocks of north to south and her access to full information, a truly remarkable figure. When the situation flipped to the verge of an arrest scene; with nagging CBI behind, she caught the earliest flight to London in February. The Raja in hand, why to worry?

Raja and Rajadhani are safe!

With the NRI tag, and a crown of the one and all of 4 Consultancies established in India, since 2000, Nira did her homework shrewdly – searched all pensioned bureaucrats, retired white elephants, and sent a lorry to their doorsteps; unloaded them in her Consultancy go-down.

Bureaucrats are normally greedy; then what to say about the retired one. They were asked to bend; they kneeled themselves. Results unfolded rapidly (it has to be reminded that, because of these snail footed bureaucrats, many Indian citizens have a far-reach to their well-deserved food and butter).

As always been, poor India pick pocketed badly!

9 Consultancies pumped 1,00,000 crore to their pocket; with Nira Radia’s 4 Consultancies pie-up to 44.44 %

Who did engage to share these lion part of Indian wealth? May be sound like a naïve, useless query. But whom to be looked on to get a convincing answer ?
Media ! My god !

Now all are naked in this POND !, waiting for the next low-tide.

Media, a crumpled Grocery by itself (With the “Grocery” term, self-descriptive).
Everything is inside – dumped; no space for a grain of sand.
Grocery is safe place for Rats; but for snakes too!

Every one – Bureaucrats, Politicians and media gloved their hands with Corporates, looting Public funds.